Monday, December 30, 2013

5 Years

No, my title is not an indication of how long it has been since I last updated this blog.

Sure seems like it, though.

In the last month, we have gone on a big family vacation, celebrated Christmas, bid farewell to our elf, Candy, and sat around in our pajamas for days on end.

Yes, so much in so little time.

If I made resolutions, I'd resolve to capture all of the above in a timely fashion. But I gave up resolutions a long time ago.

Yes, so many stories to tell.

But today I'll let the pictures (and a short description) tell the story.

Tomorrow Marty and I will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. Part of our vacation this month included taking the kids on a week-long Caribbean cruise-- a cruise almost identical to our wedding cruise. We even snapped a picture in front of the same glass sculpture.

Yes, so much in so little time.

Friday, December 6, 2013

2013 Elf Performance Review

TO: Candy the Elf
Date: 12/6/2013
RE: 2013 Performance Review

Attached is your updated 2013 Elf Performance Review. For each indicator, you will find evidence documenting your current level of performance along with constructive feedback to guide your continued seasonal employment. For comparison sake and for formal personnel paperwork purposes, you can find official documentation of your 2012 level of performance here.


Exceeds Expectations

You arrived just in the nick of time, ready and waiting for Emily and Andrew upon their return from Aunt Windy's house. To date, you have moved in a timely fashion, moving efficiently and without reminder.

Surprise Factor:
Meets Expectations

The kids were definitely surprised when they opened the pantry to find you coming out of their Cheerio box. This unexpected move created momentum and left Emily and Andrew asking where they would find Candy next.

Daredevilry: Exceeds Expectations

Attempting to wrap the ceiling fan in toilet paper and then hanging by just a thread of Charmin represents the type of daring the world has come to expect of elves on shelves.

Physical Prowess: Meets Expectations

Your ability to hang upside all day demonstrated physical strength and stamina, but the lack of props made the overall presentation somewhat underwhelming.

Kid Appeal: Exceeds Expectations

By far, the kids responded most enthusiastically to your bow escapades. Emily and Drew loved the "hair bows" and were quite disappointed to awake the following day and find that they were gone.

Resourcefulness: Exceeds Expectations

A good elf knows how to use what is on hand to create a memorable situation. Here, you located a long- forgotten toy and transformed it into Airforce North Pole. Not only did you surprise the kids, you re-energized their love of this toy. All day, Emily asked when she could take the plane and play with it.

Customer Focus: Exceeds Expectations

After squatting in their plane all day, you could have easily ditched it back in the toy room to be lost among the rubble. Instead, you left the plane in the most thoughtful spot-- right under the tree, waiting to be discovered. Emily thanks you.

Hygiene: Meets Expectations

All that traveling back and forth to the North Pole surely works up a sweat. Seeing you take a marshmallow bath showed an awareness of the importance of personal hygiene. However, your choice of bath material caused some less- than- hygienic behavior on the part of Emily and Drew who ate marshmallows, by the handfuls, from the sink.

Overall Performance Rating: Exceeds Expectations

Clearly, you have used the off- season to work on your elf skills and your tenacity has paid off. You are off to a stellar start this season, and with this type of sustained effort, we will be happy to extend your employment for years to come.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

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