Birthday List #17
Managing my worry is a daily struggle. One big “worry trigger” for me is concern over health. Yesterday I went for what I expected to be a routine skin check, an appointment I made in my quest to take control of my health and to manage my fears. I was surprised when the nurse found a mole she didn’t like. I felt the flush of panic as she said biopsy. I immediately started to mentally Google melanoma survival rates. Insane? Yes. But that is how anxiety-my anxiety—works. Calmly, I asked for her opinion of my mole. Small. Darker than the rest. Questionable. Better to take if off and be safe.
I only spent a little while yesterday researching worst case scenarios. This is a huge improvement. By last night, I was not hiding in the bed trying to sleep away the fear. Huge improvement.
Birthday list #9
Join a yoga class.
Instead of examining pictures of moles all night, I went to a new yoga class and
loved it. I can’t wait to go back on Thursday.
Birthday list #7
Teach the babies how to sign.
We took the classes, read the books, and downloaded the app, but, honestly, we were disappointed in how little the babies seemed to learn. Then, when they started daycare, we weren’t as consistent with the practice. Last night, quite randomly, we asked Drew if he wanted more. We did the sign. He used it the rest of the meal. He’s also signing all done and please. Emily—well, she still prefers to scream.
Birthday list #18
I have really enjoyed jumping on the “30 Days of Thanksgiving” bandwagon by posting one thing I am thankful for each day on Facebook. As hokey as it sounds, it has helped shift my perspective from one of deficit to one of surplus.
Birthday list #1
Be the best mommy I can be.
By working on #17 and making time for #9, I know I am creating the space I need to continue to grow as a mommy. I have also decided that I am going to make up for the time I am spending on some “mommy needs” by maximizing the time I do have with the babies. One concrete way I have decided to make time is to turn off the computer (and i-phone) while the babies are awake. Typically my computer is always on, calling me to check work email, Facebook, blog, google medical conditions. Yet, the babies are only home for a few hours every evening before it’s suppertime, bath time, and then bedtime.
So instead of giving this time to the internet, I will be giving it to my family. Hopefully, I will still be able to keep up with blog posting and commenting. If it takes me longer than usual, forgive me. I am involved in a more important creative endeavor: being a MaMe.
Yikes! Looking at this list reminds me of how much I have left to complete in the next 17 days...