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Monday, October 10, 2011

Operating Error

We experienced an operating error in our morning routine machine this morning.

Normally, the morning routine machine cranks up and produces two babies, dressed and fed, who end up at daycare on time.

Then it spits out two parents who also end up at work on time (so they can continue to feed, dress, and send two babies to daycare).

This ever-evolving machine is powered by pure teamwork and luck.

Today, the system experienced an unexpected glitch when the Daddy Engine was re-purposed and given all major production responsibilities, including picking out outfits, making breakfast, and loading two babies into the car.

This sudden shift, coupled with the usual Monday squeakiness, resulted in an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction in the Emily output.

As we unloaded the precious cargo at daycare, I realized Emily missed the hair combing station. I resisted the urge to pull a Mommy-MacGyver by licking my hand to soothe the bird’s nest on the back of her head. Instead, I finger-combed it while…

I used my other hand to scrap off the crusty waffle and yogurt on her face.
Evidently, the face-washing wheel was broken, too.

In case Emily didn’t look thrown away enough, the Daddy Engine also misfired and dressed Emily in a completely seasonally-inappropriate tank top.

Thankfully, another system glitch meant a fleece jacket was buried under a pile of refuse in the car. With the slightly-stained jacket covering the seasonally-inappropriate tank top, a wild-haired, slightly crusty-faced Emily rolled off the assembly line and into school.

After experiencing bursts of the "mommy-guilt" signal all day, the Mommy Engine did a system check and has rebooted the morning routine machine.

Here’s to hoping for a smoother Tuesday production…

8 comments:

Diana said...

Ah, too funny... It's funny 'cause it's so TRUE.

Mamamax said...

This made me laugh out loud!!! Brilliant, and close to the mark in our house too!

jen@its all about me said...

I so admire working parents I do not know how you do it. I take it a bit of humor and spit is required!

Olusola said...

LOL! Sounds like our morning routines run on similar engines. Several times I've had to apologise to the daycare teachers for the girls' choice of clothes or the front-to-backness of the clothes

Emily said...

thanks for checking out my blog! I love my cooking one (it's what I wrote a lot before I got pregnant) but I have 1 all about the twins and parenting stuff http://twicethemiracle.blogspot.com/

p.s. I NEVER let my husband dress our daughter without approval ;) haha He tried once and she wore pink pants, pink onesie, pink sweater and a pink hat...all different shades of course, she looked like the princess aisle at a toy store threw up on her haha I can't imagine what he'll do when he has to actually do her hair haha my poor little girl :)

blueviolet said...

See, now that just makes you and your gang more lovable!

Jen W said...

We had a similar daddy picks the clothes malfunction sunday, when we went to the zoo. Our boys were wearing corduroy pants and thermal long sleeve shirts. It was 86 degrees. I love your description though, very funny.

Johanna said...

You are so clever. ;)

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