Monday, October 24, 2011

Certain Uncertainty

Last week I sold our house, quit my job, moved our family three hours away, and went back to teaching—all in one hour.

It started simply enough.

It started with one of those long conversations with a close friend. You know the kind of conversation where you talk about all sorts of random, seemingly unrelated topics.

Don’t you think life continues to bring you the same challenges in different situations until you decide to work through the challenge and grow from it?

Have you thought anymore about going back to teaching so you can be at the same school as Emily and Drew?

Maybe if I had gone to college far away from home, I’d feel more confident in moving away from the only place I’ve ever known.

I left the conversation that day feeling reflective, invigorated, motivated, restless…

Innocently enough, I texted another friend and asked if she had any connections for a possible teaching job at a school I would love for Emily and Drew to attend.

Maybe. Possibly. But why don’t you consider the opening at my school?

It’s a great school for Emily and Drew, and it’s the kind of position that may only come open once in a career. It’s exactly what I am looking for…

Only it’s three hours away.--

In another city…

Away from my parents, my sister, my brother, niece, and nephew…

Away from a house we have yet to sell…

Away from a steady job I’ve had for four years…

Furious texting ensues as I get more details. It feels like I am minutes away from
living in a new city, teaching across the hall from my best friend from college, and sending my kids to a dream school.

I’m sold.

I get home and run down the series of proposed life changes to Marty. Surely, he won’t agree to move three hours away from his hockey season tickets. I dig in for the fight.

But, surprisingly, he says it’s a plan worth considering.

I am wondering if I have stepped into an alternate universe.

Maybe I am having a mid- thirties crisis, the kind that happens when you are just days away from being on the backside of 30. Maybe I am having a moment of clarity. Maybe my husband and I are on the brink of making our biggest life decision since deciding to have children.


And in the pause, I look at what this hour of certain uncertainty brought me—

I realized, for the first time in my adult life, I am finally okay with moving (a reasonable distance away) from my family. I am not ready to move across the country, but three hours is doable, especially if it is in our family’s best interest.

I realized that soon I will need to address this job situation that I have been ignoring since I received the promotion to mommy.

I realized that I still have decisions to make about Emily and Drew’s school situation, and that this decision is likely tied in some way to what I decide to do with my job.

I realized that getting Marty to be open to my idea felt like the rebellious teenager finally getting what once had been forbidden.

So are we going to move? Am I going to start seriously looking for a new job? Am I going to make a well-reasoned decision about school for Emily and Drew? Will Marty and I learn to make important decisions without each of us feeling like we have been through a boxing match?


What I do know is I am meant to figure some important things out—about stepping into the unknown, reestablishing my professional self, sacrificing for love and compromising without losing myself.

And, if I have learned anything about life, it’s that life is going to continue to present me with challenges wrapped in different packages until I work through what I am supposed to learn.

Guess it’s time to start unwrapping.


Tasha said...

Three words.....GO FOR IT!! Change is good for us! And man does it make us grow!! I look forward to hearing about all the changes to come.

Beth said...

Wow. A lot to consider. My only advice is to trust yourself and not be held back by fear or self-doubt. You know what is best for your family and you will make the right choices for the four of you. Three hours isn't that far (especially with all of today's technology to keep you in touch with everyone.) Good luck with these big decisions! Keep us updated!

Mom on a Line said...

Wow! Exciting things to consider. I wish you strength to face the uncertain, wisdom to respond to the certain in the best manner for your family, and lots of hugs to get you through.

Holly Ann said...

I completely understand the magnitude of what you are talking about! I've been through a lot of big changes in my life as well and I know how hard they are, but also how rewarding they often are. I wish you much peace and happiness!!

Dvr Dame said...

Very exciting news! And by the way I love the new layout.

Just Another Mom of Twins said...

WoW! It's never a dull moment is it? LOL! I can't wait to hear where this all takes you...great life lesson about needing to deal with a problem or else it just keeps coming back in different ways...never looked at life that way true!


jen@its all about me said...

I did something similar when my kids were little, (8 hrs) never regretted it and my guess is you won't either.

My parents; by the way loved visiting our new area and got over any concerns they had over being separated from us and the kids.

I wish for you the same :)

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